So sit back with a moose head full of Egg Nog, let the soft glow of a leg lamp ease your soul, and let's get this yule-tide soiree started right.
#10 DIE HARD
- Even on Christmas Eve, terrorists will do terrorist things. Unfortunately for Hans Gruber and his evil band of henchman they have picked the wrong skyscraper on this particular night. That is because one of the baddest men to ever walk the planet is there visiting his wife and he's pissed off. Unlike his peers Sly and Arnold, Bruce Willis was the everyman action star, which made us that much more sympathetic to his John McClane. Beneath the bloody scars and machine gun fire you get the feeling that all McClane wants to do is get his wife home, get in some reindeer pajamas and snuggle up under the mistletoe. He'll just have to brutally buzz saw through 115 floors of bad guys first.
#9 THE FAMILY MAN
- Sure it's a story we've all seen before, especially on Christmas. Through some mysterious magic (usually an angel of some kind) our leading man sees the error of his once selfish ways and gets the chance to ditch a lonely, self indulgent life for more of a traditional existence. Jack Campbell makes the wrong choice at the beginning of the film and leaves his girlfriend Kate in the lurch, their lives move on and Jack becomes a modern day scrooge. Then a supernatural Don Cheadle shows up and gives Jack a chance to do it all over again, only this time with screaming kids and infants peeing in his face. It could have come off corny and redundant but there are enough genuine laughs and a truly believable, lovable family that this one works.
#8 GREMLINS
- As kids we would wait all year for Christmas morning and that one special gift that we had on our list, but sometimes that particular gift would come dissembled, in 256 pieces and instructions that Stephen Hawking couldn't decipher. That wasn't the case for the "mogwai" that Billy Peltzer receives as a gift from dad. It was simple, three rules. Follow three simple rules and all 50's sci-fi movie hell wouldn't break loose. But one glass of water and a Corey Feldman appearance later and the folks in this movie fail miserably. "Gizmo" sprouts green, scaly creatures that frequent the neighborhood bar, enjoy watching Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and just generally bring the ruckus. The main lesson here is for dads. Don't buy mysterious creatures stuffed away in the back of antique shops in Chinatown, go with a dog or iPhone.
#7 SCROOGED
- We’ve seen Ebenezer Scrooge grimace and grumble in a seemingly infinite amount of movies and television adaptations. There are always important life lessons to be learned and warm gooey feelings to be felt in the belly. Never though, before or after this one, has A Christmas Carol been so damn funny. Made right in the middle of the immortally awesome Bill Murray’s run of flawless comedic performances, Scrooged is as dark, edgy and hilarious as it was twenty years ago. Murray never misses a step as ruthless TV executive Frank Cross, from the opening reel all the way up to the insanely hilarious finale, where he appears to not only have an awakening, but also a few seizures.
#6 A CHRISTMAS CAROL (1984)
- We can’t have a list of Christmas movies from any generation without including one of these, it just wouldn’t be proper. The majority of our parents and grandparents probably have a soft spot for the Alastair Sims version, our kids will probably look back fondly on the CGI Jim Carrey one, but if you’re like me and are true 80’s baby then you remember the wonderful George C. Scott humbugging his way into our hearts. Sure it was technically a made for TV version but that’s why it was hard to escape it back then. Every year it would play again and until I purchased it on DVD a few years back it may have made its way onto a Blockbuster Video’s worth of VHS tapes. Everything about this one is coated with Christmas magic, from the music, to the performances, to the convincing execution of the ghosts. And of course for my money there will never be a better Ebenezer Scrooge then Mr. George C. Scott.
#5 HOME ALONE
- We all know this John Hughes classic about the savvy Kevin McCallister laying a booby trap smackdown on a couple of bumbling burglars. What we tend to overlook is how damn cruel this kid’s family are to him. Not only do the parental figures let the other kids pick on him throughout the entire opening segment of the film, the uncle even joins in on the action. They call him everything from a little jerk to a disease, they don’t leave him any slices of plain pizza and they all gloat at the fact that he has to sleep with a kid that may or may not piss all over him in the middle of the night. Then to top it off they leave the poor bastard home alone. The large family is so preoccupied by the thought of prancing around Paris for the holidays they leave a damn ten year old back at the house to face off with frightening basements, next door neighbors understood to be axe murderers and the Wet Bandits. A true dark comedy and thanks to an eternally moving score and pretty damn brilliant performance by a young Macaulay Culkin, a Christmas classic.
#4 A CHRISTMAS STORY
- Before TBS took it into their hands to make everyone in the country simultaneously sick of this movie on Christmas Day, it was the holiday personified. Every inch of there is some classic happening taking place and lines could probably be recited by people 9 to 90. And when something becomes so imprinted into our collective conscience it’s easy to forget just how good it really is. Watch it again on your own, before there’s no choice on the 25th.
#3 NATIONAL LAMPOON'S CHRISTMAS VACATION
- Easily the best of the Griswold clan’s escapades, this one sees Clark trying to give his family “a good old fashioned family Christmas”. Of course like most fathers Clark goes into it with the best of intentions but somewhere along the line he fumbles the vision and finds SWAT team members crashing through the windows of his house. From Cousin Eddie to Uncle Lewis, Clark must endure countless setbacks and we are lucky enough to watch all the hilarity unfold. With countless classic moments, the most genuinely funny Christmas movie ever made.
#2 THE FAMILY STONE
- There is rarely a more convincing family then the Stones in any movie, not just Christmas ones. This is a big, progressive clan of individual personalities that if you look deep enough you could find your own reflection in. They laugh, love and generally enjoy life and the attention to detail in this film is endlessly fascinating. The rhythm of the movie is like the family itself, it could be humorous one second, challenging the next and then can take a turn and be as moving as it gets. Along with number one on this list, this has become a staple of the holiday season for my Wife and me and as each Christmas comes and goes and our relatives inevitably get older, this movie’s true message becomes more and more prevalent. In the hustle and bustle of the holidays we tend to forget that it’s all about being with the ones we love. Sure it’s corny and cliche, but it’s the stone cold truth. Pardon the pun.
#1 LOVE ACTUALLY
- If a space alien came to us and wanted three films that captured the spirit of the season, I would probably give him/her It’s a Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th Street and Love Actually. Every frame of this film is beaming with life and love and an unabashed fun that unfortunately only comes around but once a year. With a giant ensemble cast and one of those stories that bobs and weaves its way through a whole gang of interconnected characters, it could have easily became jumbled and hard to watch. Instead it’s the total opposite, freely flowing with music, laughs, believable love stories, and an unflinching desire to be totally un-corny and R rated but still somehow innocent and sweet. A movie that brazenly has everything from a countdown to Christmas day to a social commentary on the United States as a bully, none of which is ever forced or contrived. The movie has a subtle swelling underneath the surface that builds and builds at all times throughout, until it reaches its beautiful crescendo. Whenever you get gloomy about the state of the world, think about Christmas, think about that gal or guy in your life and think about love...because it actually is all around.
No comments:
Post a Comment