Ghosts of Christmas Presents

+++A Very Special Lucha Buddha Christmas Entry+++

1986 - Nintendo Entertainment System Deluxe Set

So I had to do a bit of research to see what exactly my brother received way back then. It was most definitely this here, because besides the duck killing gat that it came with there was also the not so fondly remembered "ROB" (Robotic Operating Buddy)...but I recall it vividly. Basically a lot of confusing parts, that when assembled, did absolutely nothing in conjunction with the game system itself (perhaps it did but my brother and I weren't going to waste anymore time figuring it out, since the controllers were a lot less easier to use and a hell of a lot more fun). Ultimately Rob became a giant killer robot, sworn enemy of Lion-O and He-Man.

Technically this was my brother's gift but of course as any child of the eighties could attest, the NES brought all of us fond memories of sleepless nights, Cheeto residue ridden controllers, hours of trying to figure out how to make the game cartridge work again (blowing in it, freezing it, the trick where you let the edge hit as you pushed it down, etc.), and an endless supply of brain cell devouring games. Basically shaped our childhoods more then our parents did.

1988 - Turtle Blimp


I was a Ninja Turtle obsessed jack ass at this point of my life. So naturally when this bewildering thing was released I needed it desperately. Here I'll let this geek explain it in more detail then it should ever call for.
Geek explains Turtle Blimp


1991 - Diamondback Mountain Bike
*
*This putrid image isn't one of my actual bike, but it's what popped up when I put "blue diamondback mountain bike" into Google and I got lazy.

Ahh, my bike. It was an eternally fly looking and wonderfully dependable bike that I rode around town for way longer then I should have. With a fresh sky blue paint job, a comfortable saddle cushion, some sparkling silver pegs and red dice valve covers. Ooooh, tell me I wasn't big ballin back then.

When other kids got bit older and upgraded their bikes with something they considered a bit more sleek and mature, I stuck with my beat up old mountain snake. It made its home in my grandfather's garage until it mysteriously vanished one day a few years after his passing. With "Pop" gone no one was around to religiously monitor the garage door, so some swine merchant probably came through and stole it. I like to think though that maybe Pop himself came back around one day, saw that I was older and driving a car now, and took it back with him...to a big ole garage somewhere in the sky. Yea I like that.


1993 - Art Table

The attached overhead light seemed to get as hot as a forest fire after about 5 minutes and I believe my father never quite assembled the legs right because of the slight wobble that took place whenever I leaned on it a certain way, nevertheless this bad boy provided me with a place to scribble comic book art and rhymes for many years to follow.

1994 - Sega 32X


The biggest bust of them all. Well over a decade later and I'm still confused over this item. What was it supposed to do...really? I mean the marketing campaign made it appear like once it was jammed into the Genesis like two Na'Vi aliens making love with their ponytails, some kind of mysterious, video game magic was going to transpire. Like Sonic was suddenly going to be bigger and faster, and more lifelike. But in reality NOT SHIT HAPPENED. Nothing, zero, zilch.

2005 - Towels and The Notebook

When I saw the girl that would eventually become my wife that year she asked me what I got for Christmas. I responded with "towels and The Notebook". At this point we barely knew one another and from what she did know of me, I'm sure she assumed I was making it up and further more making an ass out myself. Well while I was indeed making an ass out myself, I wasn't making it up.

I had recently moved back into my parent's house, home fresh from a year long stint out in Hollywood. And with all due respect to my family, because of a cocktail of mild OCD and Verminophobia, I couldn't bring myself to use a towel that I didn't know the past 12 month history of. And coincidentally I had recently seen the Notebook on DVD alone in my California apartment and wept to myself uncontrollably. Hence "towels and The Notebook".

2007 - The Goonies action figure set

Not only did my wonderful wife get me the entire set but in staying with the spirit of my favorite childhood movie she hid each figure around my parent's house and sent me on a treasure hunt. Like as if I didn't have enough yet, that was clear evidence that I needed to marry this girl. To this day the whole set...Mouth, Mikey, Chunk, Data and of course Sloth...make their home on a bookshelf in our apartment. While they are collecting dust and rarely played with nowadays, they are a tiny reminder of this grand adventure we've been on as a couple.



Because of the merry madness of the the next few days there probably won't be another blog entry until after Christmas, so if you have taken the time out to read any of this tripe I want to thank you. While I don't have any followers I have indeed had a fair share of traffic through here, and it's a good feeling. So to you and yours have a peaceful, safe and wonderful holiday. Catch you on the next one. Much love.